The Passionate Mom

Dare to Parent in Today’s World

by Susan Merrill

2013

 

Always on the lookout for resources that God can use to transform me into a better mom, I picked up The Passionate Mom from one of our city’s few Christian booksellers.

 

A Mother’s Day gift to myself.  

 

Author, Susan Merrill, writes about a parenting model based on the Old Testament book of Nehemiah.

You know, the one where Nehemiah goes to Jerusalem to get the broken down city wall fixed.

 

The story of Nehemiah has long been a favorite of mine and the connection between walls and parenting resonates deeply.

Think about this verse,

“He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge” Proverbs 14:26.

 

I want to be a secure fortress for my children and secure fortresses depend on walls.

 

Walls are important.

 

From a parenting perspective,

Walls are how parents protect their children.

They are the rules that stand according to age and maturity.

 

Even further, 

Walls are needed to protect my child’s heart.


And they come out of my relationship with the Lord.

 

God has given me walls as well.
They are the statutes and instructions in His Word meant to protect me and help me experience life according to His perfect plan.

 

But,

How often do my kids step out from the protection of my walls?

How often do I step out from the protection of God's walls?

 

Susan Merrill goes on to explain that even the most secure fortresses have gates in which to go in or to go out.

 

What are the gates in parenthood?

Privileges.

 

How will I know if my child is old or mature enough to function beyond my wall if I don’t let them try?

After all, gates have gatekeepers.

A gate can always be shut...

 

Walls and gates, are they too abstract?

A great example in our family is that we have started to let son #1 bike around our neighborhood by himself. This is a gate, or a privilege, that we have opened up to him as he had previously demonstrated  trustworthy behaviour while staying within our walls, that is biking on our street.

Son #2 is still required to stay within our walls by staying on our street as he hasn't demonstrated the maturity needed to go off on such an adventure. It would also help if he learned to ride his bike.

Despite this identification with walls and gates,

I think what struck me deepest in this book is the idea that I need to have time to think about my children and pray for them.

 

Time.

 

That is the key word.

 

If my life is too full of activity, with too many projects, and too much rushing around, when will I find the time to ponder and pray about my kids?

I won’t.

And if I don’t, who will?

My husband?

Nope. He’s even busier.

 

Busyness and the desire to simplify.

It seems to be a common theme in my life right now.

 

What to cut?

What to continue?

What is truly important?

What fits with the ministry called motherhood?
What fits with what God has truly called me to do? 

“You are called to lay the foundation for your son’s or daughter’s faith. You can build a strong wall to protect your child, but if you don’t lay a solid foundation for what he or she believes, you will have missed your mission. Your child’s heart is the dwelling place for God. Build it strong, and then protect it with your wall.”



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