The Passionate Mom

Dare to Parent in Today’s World

by Susan Merrill

2013

 

Always on the lookout for resources that God can use to transform me into a better mom, I picked up The Passionate Mom from one of our city’s few Christian booksellers.

 

A Mother’s Day gift to myself.  

 

Author, Susan Merrill, writes about a parenting model based on the Old Testament book of Nehemiah.

You know, the one where Nehemiah goes to Jerusalem to get the broken down city wall fixed.

 

The story of Nehemiah has long been a favorite of mine and the connection between walls and parenting resonates deeply.

Think about this verse,

“He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge” Proverbs 14:26.

 

I want to be a secure fortress for my children and secure fortresses depend on walls.

 

Walls are important.

 

From a parenting perspective,

Walls are how parents protect their children.

They are the rules that stand according to age and maturity.

 

Even further, 

Walls are needed to protect my child’s heart.


And they come out of my relationship with the Lord.

 

God has given me walls as well.
They are the statutes and instructions in His Word meant to protect me and help me experience life according to His perfect plan.

 

But,

How often do my kids step out from the protection of my walls?

How often do I step out from the protection of God's walls?

 

Susan Merrill goes on to explain that even the most secure fortresses have gates in which to go in or to go out.

 

What are the gates in parenthood?

Privileges.

 

How will I know if my child is old or mature enough to function beyond my wall if I don’t let them try?

After all, gates have gatekeepers.

A gate can always be shut...

 

Walls and gates, are they too abstract?

A great example in our family is that we have started to let son #1 bike around our neighborhood by himself. This is a gate, or a privilege, that we have opened up to him as he had previously demonstrated  trustworthy behaviour while staying within our walls, that is biking on our street.

Son #2 is still required to stay within our walls by staying on our street as he hasn't demonstrated the maturity needed to go off on such an adventure. It would also help if he learned to ride his bike.

Despite this identification with walls and gates,

I think what struck me deepest in this book is the idea that I need to have time to think about my children and pray for them.

 

Time.

 

That is the key word.

 

If my life is too full of activity, with too many projects, and too much rushing around, when will I find the time to ponder and pray about my kids?

I won’t.

And if I don’t, who will?

My husband?

Nope. He’s even busier.

 

Busyness and the desire to simplify.

It seems to be a common theme in my life right now.

 

What to cut?

What to continue?

What is truly important?

What fits with the ministry called motherhood?
What fits with what God has truly called me to do? 

“You are called to lay the foundation for your son’s or daughter’s faith. You can build a strong wall to protect your child, but if you don’t lay a solid foundation for what he or she believes, you will have missed your mission. Your child’s heart is the dwelling place for God. Build it strong, and then protect it with your wall.”



Reading on...

Lest We Forget

April 7 was Holocaust Remembrance Day, so I decided to focus my reading around the topic.

The words were often hard to read.

The Diary of a Young Girl

by Anne Frank

1947

I am sure you have at least heard the name, Anne Frank, but have you read her diary?

I read it years ago, but this time round gave me a new perspective.

Anne Frank was a Jewish teenager in Nazi-occupied Holland. Her family, along with the Van Daan [Van Pels] family and Mr. Dussel [Mr. Pfeffer], went into hiding in order to escape deportation and certain death. (Names had been changed for the book, at least according to the Anne Frank Museum website.)

This diverse group hid for 25 months in the upper floors of a warehouse before they were betrayed and sent to various concentration camps.

Anne’s father, Otto Frank, was the only one to survive.

The Diary of a Young Girl is Anne’s journal.

Full of teenage angst, Anne's entries document this time of secrecy.

This time of eight people in close-quarters with little to do, limited food, and the constant fear of discovery.

On Tuesday, April 4, 1944 Anne wrote,

“I want to go on living even after my death! And therefore I am grateful to God for giving me this gift, this possibility of developing myself and of writing, of expressing all that is in me.”

Anne got her wish.

Making Bombs for Hitler

by Marsha Forchuk Skrypuch

2012

This middle grade novel is about a young girl, Lida, who is forced into slave labor at a munitions factory in Nazi Germany.

The one piece of advice Lida was given, as she was transported to the labour camp was, “make yourself useful”.

So she did.

When other children her age were deemed useless and expendable, Lida lied to make herself older and was permitted to put her skills, and her small steady hands, to work.

Some of this work included making bombs.

Some of this work included sabotaging bombs.

Making Bombs for Hitler captivated my interest as it explored the slave labour side of Nazi Germany.

Osterbeiter was the name.

A few facts:

Non-Jews were picked up off the street and sent to labour camps to work.Most Osterbeiter’s were Ukranian and had to wear “OST” on their sleeves.

They were regarded as subhuman and were killed if they tried to escape.
Others died from over-work or when the factories they were working in were bombed by the Allies.

Making Bombs for Hitler is actually a sequel to the novel, Stolen Child, which tells the story of Lida’s sister, Larissa, a victim of the Nazi Lebensborn program.

I have yet to read it. 

The Hiding Place

by Corrie Ten Boom

1971

A classic in Christian literature, this book was amazing.

What a story of faith.

Corrie Ten Boom was a non-Jew living in Nazi-occupied Holland when she allowed herself to be used by God to save many of His people – the Dutch Jews.

Corrie became very involved in “The Underground”, which involved stolen ration cards, hiding Jews and various other clandestine activities.

Eventually the Ten Booms were discovered and Corrie, along with her older sister, Betsie, and their elderly father, were imprisoned.

Corrie was the only one to survive.

There are two distinct stories that stand out to me in The Hiding Place.

The first:

Betsie was an example of true thankfulness to all those around her.

She genuinely lived out 1 Thessalonians 5:18,

“Give thanks in all circumstances…”

She even gave thanks for the fleas in their barracks at concentration camp, Ravensbruck.

In the end, it was these fleas that kept the guards away so Betsie and Corrie could freely lead Bible studies.

The second:
Betsie prayed for the Nazi soldiers and guards – the enemy. 

Matthew 5:44, “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who
persecute you.”

It’s easy to pray for our friends and loved ones, but how easy is it to pray for the

enemy?

Corrie Ten Boom was released from Ravensbruck on, what she later discovered, a technical error. All women of her age were actually assigned to be killed.

Corrie's story didn't end the day she walked out of Ravensbruck.
Until she was quite elderly, Corrie travelled the world sharing the Gospel and the free gift of God’s grace.

Beyond Courage: The Untold Story of Jewish Resistance During the Holocaust

by Doreen Rappaport
2012

Full of amazing pictures and stories of bravery, this book was a privilege to read.
I had no idea.

Reading on…

Boys Adrift

The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men

by Leonard Sax

2007

 

 

I am not going to write in great detail about this book, as I read it years ago.

However, if you are looking for a great book to help you understand your son – this is it.

 

Leonard Sax is a family physician and research psychologist who has an interest in boys and why they struggle in today’s society.

Insights ranging from the lack of healthy male role models to false realities provided by video games to lack of physical competition in schools are all discussed in an engaging and easy to read style.

 

Boys Adrift is a book I’ve recommended multiple times.

 

Reading on…

Improving Your Serve: The Art of Unselfish Living

 

by Charles R. Swindoll
1981

 

Recently I taught on the subject of “serving within church-life” at a women’s bible study.

What an amazing and encouraging topic.

 

As part of my prep-work I read Chuck Swindoll’s book, Improving Your Serve: The Art of Unselfish Living.

A book that I had always meant to read, but had, in fact, left on our bookshelf untouched for over 10 years.

 

Check that one off my list.

 

Did I miss out by not reading it those many years ago?
Most certainly.

I found Improving Your Serve to be a really useful book.

Though not so much from a teaching perspective,

More from a whole life perspective.

Mr. Swindoll didn’t just stick to servanthood within the Church, instead he stressed it as an integral part of our Christian walk.

 
And, wonder of all wonders,

Did you know that unselfish living does not come naturally?

 
Really!

In my life, nothing demonstrates this insight more than motherhood:

I grumble when I am late out the door and my child needs help with a zipper.

I grumble when I am just settling in to my coffee and am called to bathroom duty.

I grumble when I am looking for a little peace and a recess mis-adventure needs reporting.

 

And why do I grumble?
Only one reason,

I am selfish and want things to proceed my way.
In my own timing.

 
But, just as Jesus came to be a servant to all, so am I called.

Mr. Swindoll says, “[God] is engaged in building into His people the same serving and giving qualities that characterized His Son.”

What a difficult task.
What an impossible task.

 

It’s a good thing that God is the God of impossibilities.

 

So,

What does a servant look like?
What does a servant act like?

What makes someone a servant?

 

-         Transparency, willing to accept responsibility

-         Humility, giving the credit to God

-         Accountability, willing to be confronted

-         Sensitivity, awareness of another’s need

-         Honesty, absolute integrity

-         Giver, in anonymity and personally

-         Self-denial, it’s not always easy

-         Forgiver, to not is hypocritical

-         Forgetter, don’t keep score

-         Vulnerability, accept help and be teachable

-         Determination, persevere

-         Renewed mind, think differently than the world

-         Gentleness, strength under control

-         Hunger for righteousness, long to be filled by God

-         Peacemaker, preserve unity and build up

And the really biggies,

SEE OTHERS AS CHRIST SEES THEM.
NO ACT OF SERVICE IS TOO SMALL.


This certainly is not me most, if not all, days.

This list is huge and is at the outer reaches of impossibility. 

It’s a good thing I am not left to live it alone.

When I open up myself to the Lord, place my life at His feet, and pick up my cross,  

He will teach me these things.
The Holy Spirit will work in me.

Everything I experience in life God will use and has designed to prepare me for serving others more effectively.

Everything.

 
Like a potter with a fresh lump of cold, damp clay,
So am I in His hands.

So are you.

Isaiah 64:8, “Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”

 

 

Reading on…

Reshaping It All

by Candace Cameron Bure with Darlene Schacht
2011

 

Having grown up watching Candace Cameron on the family sitcom, Full House, it was only natural that I be curious about her book.

Especially as I’d been told she was a Christian.

 

Basically, Reshaping It All is about self-discipline.

Physical, emotional and spiritual.

 

In all aspects of life.

 

Reading about self-discipline is always a good thing for me as there are areas in my life where I am in want.

Think Easter.

Think Easter Crème Eggs.

Enough said.

 

So, what were the take-home messages for me in this book?

 

“…hard work [is] not only a prerequisite for success but…it [is] also a prerequisite for strong character. Struggling for the things we get teaches us the all-important lesson of self-discipline while it strengthens our body and spirit.” (pg 37)

 

I often struggle with hard work.

And, hard work that needs time?

Forget it!

 

If I am being honest, I am all about instant gratification and little work.

Not that I consider myself lazy, a mom of four busy kids has no time to be lazy, but for instance: I am scheduled to run a “5 k” in a few months, and have I started training?

No!

Time is certainly a factor, but so is self-discipline. Frankly, I am not excited about the effort involved!

 

So, why don’t I practice self-discipline?
(Even if it means the "lack of" will produce a collapse at the “3 k” mark.)  

It’s easier not to - even if I know that certain undesirable (ie, collapse at the “3 k” mark) outcomes are inevitable.  

 

Pick your area: exercise, sleep, food, spending or daily devotions.

Or Easter Crème Eggs.

 

How are you with self-discipline?

 

The Bible speaks very clearly about this elusive yet desirable quality,

Proverbs 10:4, “Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.”

 

A life of self-discipline not only produces self-respect but also respect from others.

Proverbs 25:28 says, “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.”

 

Self-control = self-discipline.

 

Really,
What is the big deal if a city has broken walls?

Back in the day, cities had thick walls to provide protection from enemies, humans and animals alike.

If the walls were broken, the enemy could get in to destroy the city and its people.

 

Without self-discipline, how am I like a broken city?

 

From what I can tell, self-discipline provides protection.

Protection from wrong choices, wrong thoughts, and wrong actions.

 

When the walls of self-discipline are broken or missing, I can be destroyed.

To make matters worse,

When I am not self-disciplined in the lesser areas of my life, I am probably not self-disciplined in my relationship with God.

 
And, if I am not self-disciplined in this relationship, I won’t have the means to fight.

With no walls and no weapons,

I am not protected.

Like the city,

My heart will be destroyed.

Maybe not right away, but remember the inevitable, undesirable outcomes?

Heady stuff.

 

Reading on…

The Kind of Life It's Been

by Lloyd Robertson

2012

 

Lloyd Robertson is the long time TV news anchor for CTV, and previous to that, CBC. He's now retired and The Kind of Life It’s Been is his memoirs.  

His story.

And Mr. Robertson certainly had dozens of stories to tell.

After all, he’s reported on many key points in history these last fifty odd years.

 

The JFK assassination, the moon landing, the Montreal Massacre, 9/11.

Multiple elections, Olympics, Royal Visits.

The list goes on and on.  

 

I’m not going to say anything else about this book, other than that I found it to be really fascinating.

And, for someone like me who knows very little about the broadcasting business, it was also quite informative and eye-opening.

 I highly recommend it. 

 

Reading on…

Playing Catch-Up 2

 

Once again, I am in the position of reading faster than I write.

 

And, once again, I find myself thankful.

Year of Wonders  

by Geraldine Brooks

2001

 

A historical novel borrowed from real-life events of plague-ridden 17^th century England: a village quarantines itself to stop the spread of disease.

 

I have really enjoyed Geraldine Brooks’ writing in the past (see Caleb's Crossing) and, initially, I loved this book too.

Historical detail, interesting characters, fascinating plot.

 

Then my opinion changed.

 

The characters I thought I knew turned a 180 and, instead of wrapping up as the book began, the book ended like an episode of Days of Our Lives.

 

It seemed to come out of nowhere and I felt blind-sided.

Let down.

 

Did I miss something?

Somehow I wish I did.

What this book really speaks to, however, is grace. Or the lack of it. 

 

 Wings of Dawn

by Sigmund Brouwer 

1995

 

Having only known Sigmund Brouwer as the writer of middle-grade hockey novels, I really wasn’t sure what to expect.

 

Wings of Dawn takes place in 14th-century England and is full of action, intrigue and wonderment. While I can’t really say that I love Mr. Brouwer’s writing style, what I can say is that he provided good, clean, adventuresome fun.

 

Exactly the kind of books I want to read.

 

Exactly the kind of books I want to write.

 

 

Winning Balance

by Shawn Johnson

2012

 

If you’ve read my post entitled, The Art of Pushing Too Hard, you’ll know I have a soft spot in my heart for gymnastics, so when I saw Winning Balance, I grabbed it.

 

I wasn’t let down. It was truly an engaging read.

 

Winning Balance is the autobiography of gymnast, and Olympic Gold Medalist, Shawn Johnson. As expected, Shawn talks about her life before, during and after gymnastics. The book ends as she attempts to make a comeback into the world of competitive gymnastics with the 2012 Olympic Trials.

 

Of course we know from the 2012 Summer Olympics, that Shawn withdrew from competition as a result of injury.

 

As interesting as it is, what sets Winning Balance apart from all the myriads of other gymnastics books on the market is the “Lesson I’ve Learned” section at the end of each chapter. These little nuggets give insight into the inner workings of the author and are truly wisdom to share.

 

Things like, “You need relationships as part of your life.” “Be humble…” “Stepping out of your comfort zone may be scary at first. But it’s worth the risk to see how far you can go.”

 

Shawn is also very open about her faith and she writes many things that would identify her as a Christian. I really appreciated that aspect of the book.

With a world full of fallen superstars, I am so thankful for those very few who can be considered healthy role models.

 

 

Reading on…